Turning 40

So today I write this on a big day. It's my 40th birthday. I have to be honest in saying it does feel strange even writing the number, but the good news is that I'm not concerned or worried about the fact I'm getting older.

In fact, when I look at everything I achieved in my thirties, I'm excited to know what comes next. On this day 10 years ago I had a girlfriend, paid rent to live in her apartment and a job that just about allowed me to make it to week 3 of each month before running out of money.

Today I'm married, we have two amazing children, our own home and I've built a career I've progressed in. I'm definitely a lot more settled, feel I've ticked a number of those life boxes filled with pride and here I am today, looking for the next adventure as I create my plan to take Weight Loss Warrior to a completely new level.

If I look back over the last 10 years, I'm not sure there is a lot I should have expected to do and didn't. It can sound arrogant to say "hey look at me, I did all this great stuff", but the truth is I feel happy with all that's been achieved. It's an old cliché but my 20s were for partying, my 30s spent becoming a grown up and discovering who I am and now I reach my 40s, it's time to make my impact on the world. I feel like I need to do "the thing" that after I'm gone people look back and remember me for. It's not to say I want more people to know who I am, I'm not looking for fame (and even less after watching the David Beckham documentary on Netflix this week). But what I am looking for is to make a difference, and reach a place where I can finally say "I am reaching my potential".

Potential

Ever since I can remember, there has always been school reports, feedback at work and my own recognition that I could do more if I tried. It can feel quite disheartening being told that you're doing enough, but need to also do X, Y and Z in order to reach your potential. It has overshadowed a lot of things I have achieved because no matter how good they were in that moment, it felt like a failure on some levels because of that extra push of effort I chose not to drive towards.

What I'd love more than anything is to feel I have the ability to change up a gear and work at a level where I can feel it's as close to my best effort as possible. Currently that extra gear only exists for a small number of tasks and it's a bit like the cars in the Fast and The Furious movies, I press the NOS turbo button and I get that boost, but it's in limited supply and doesn't last a long time.

In order to work on myself I will soon have my own coach, providing an opportunity to guide me towards behaviours and habits that allow me to create a way of being that shortens the gap between my current level of achievement, and where I would like to be.

How I'd like to arrive at 50

Firstly, just arriving in relative health would be my biggest goal for the next decade. I'm slowly becoming more aware that life cannot be taken for granted and that our time here will one day come to an end. Whilst I can focus on my diet, exercise regularly, drink plenty of water and get a good nights sleep, there is still so much outside my area of control. On many levels it becomes a game of chance.

Making an assumption I make it unscathed, I have a vision of how I'd like to reach that half century milestone. I'm by no means wishing my life away but instead starting to lay the foundations of a path that allow me to spend the next 10 years with something to work towards, giving me goals and a direction to move in.

I think if for a moment if I push aside all the hopes and dreams I have for my wife, children and others around me who I care about and focus on my own personal goals, There are probably 3 key areas I want to really push towards.

Freedom.

For me freedom is the ability to plan each day without feeling restrained by responsibilities that you wish you didn't have. I want to be able to wake up without any kind of feelings of "urgh...I have to do (INSERT TEDIOUS TASK HERE) again"...

Freedom can be many things; a mindset, the ability to travel without constraint, a healthy body that doesn't prevent me from taking part in activities I want to etc. Overall I think I will know if I am achieving this at a very deep level in my heart, when the moment arrives. I'm not sure how it will show itself of feel exactly, but that sense of being there will allow me to know I am reaching my potential.

Money

Ok so this is one where I feel a slight tightening in my chest and a feeling of needing to justify myself at the risk of sounding extremely materialistic and shallow. The truth is, I want more money. There, I said it.

I want money to pay the mortgage off, I want my wife to have a choice whether she works or not, I want to ensure my children have every opportunity to learn, discover and enjoy the best possible life (although here I realise that money doesn't directly give them the most important requirements like the feeling of being loved and safety). I'll go on record saying I'd love one day to buy a Porsche 911 Turbo knowing that spending that money is not a problem for us as a family. I'd love to travel to at least 20 more countries and discover their culture, creating a feeling that I'm reaching my potential in terms of life experience.

I'd also love to fund a project that makes a positive difference in the world. I've seen many inspiring entrepreneurs complete amazing acts of philanthropy, creating initiatives that serve people less fortunate than them that were enabled by the success of their business. For me knowing that I have been able to improve the quality of life for others is another signal of me reaching my potential.

My career

During my life I have probably had more than 100 "next big thing" business ideas and "visions" that I was convinced could become highly successful and extremely profitable. A small number of those were genuinely good ideas, one or two actually made money, but the majority though were non starters.

The truth is that whilst I find my current career in Client services enjoyable and a good match for my personality and skillset, it's not my dream job. I don't think anyone as a child when asked said that when they grow up they would like to be work within the world of HR and Payroll. Taking the positives from it, I get to work with people all over the world on a daily basis, I help solve problems for people and get the opportunity to guide others towards success. That is something I lean into and love.

During the coming years, I'd like to explore a career that is carved more from my desires as opposed to being something I kind of fell into by chance. Being very closely linked to achieving freedom, I'd like work to not feel like an obligation but instead an opportunity to take part in an activity I love and enjoy, getting paid for the privilege at the same time.

It may come as no surprise that since starting the podcast, I have opened a door into a world I had no knowledge of, but I instantly felt drawn towards. I felt a connection from my own life experiences and a relevance that has enabled me to connect with a new community and see an opportunity to help others.

In order to feel like I am reaching my potential within my career, I'll tell you what it is not. It is not climbing up a corporate ladder, looking for a promotion in which I trade a little more of my own time, my own freedom in exchange for a new title and a little extra money each month. Instead, reaching my potential will be a career where I don't recognise work as a chore but instead something I am doing because I have a deep sense of enjoyment, duty and reward. That reward has many facets, all closely linked to the other goals I have mentioned already.

Pushing forward

I realise I have a lot of work to do, and that in itself is exciting. Work that doesn't feel like "work", but instead an opportunity to do something I love. Perhaps I'm closer to reaching my potential than I give myself credit for? In any case, the coming weeks, months and years will hopefully allow me to reach my 50th birthday feeling like I am achieving what I was given the opportunity to do.

Until then though I am going to focus on today, celebrating the fact I reached 40 with a feeling of gratitude to have my wife, children and those I love around me.